(via patheticturnip2)

(Source: vitalyorlovs, via poppingsue)

“HONEY”

“WHAT”

“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”

“WHAT”

“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”

“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”

“WHAT?!”

“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”

“I NEED THEM”

“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”

“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”

“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”

“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”

“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”

(Source: clenchuplegolas, via cuttingkitestrings)

The Tale of The Three Brothers

(Source: dailygranger, via cuttingkitestrings)

thecuriousbrontosaurus:

Pizza Rolls on Pizza Bagel bites On Personal Pizzas on a Pizza.

America.

what a nice salad

what a nice salad

what a nice salad

WHAT A NICE SALAD….

what a nice salad

what a nice salad

(via cuttingkitestrings)

(Source: garnetvengeance, via deathcomes4u)

montypla:

sheepdean:

Possibly the greatest line ever uttered by a Dalek

Just watched this episode last night.

(via deathcomes4u)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

(Source: slow-motion-jump-attack)

barackfuckingobama:

I bet Spiderman left New York City for a day trip and when he came back, he saw the catastrophic aftermath of The Avengers and he was like

“I WAS GONE FOR ONE DAY. ONE DAY.” 

(via masked-vigilante)

(Source: pottrott, via deathcomes4u)